Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Girls just wanna have fun....

Indeed! And on Saturday night we showed it!!

Celebrating Sam's 20th birthday we hit the bright lights of London and raided the Oxygen bar and the one and only CC Club!

But first the journey there, after rushing in from work and changing into my amazing new dress teamed with a red waist belt and heels Kayleigh and I started walking to the bus stop, yep, the BUS stop! Where we came to meet the 'street rats'. Interesting side show of young kids about 13 trying to chat you up whilst trying to look cool trying to smoke a cigarette! Sorry kid but whilst your wearing a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms that are 5 size to big for you and make you walk like a penguin you have no chance of looking cool, especially hanging around a bus stop! So we make the sensible decision to start walking to the station!

After getting on the train Kayleigh finds that a piece of glass is lodged in her toe and squeezes it out, mistake, blood started pouring out and I mean pouring out! Dripping all over the floor making me feel a bit queasy! So we move up and try to contain our fits of giggles as we watch people get on the train and dodge the blood whilst commenting on how 'disgusting' it is!

Once we finally made it to Leicster Square and found Oxygen bar we came to experience our first can of Oxygen! yep, air has now been canned and sold! But we couldn't go to oxygen bar and not try the famous....erm....Drink? No, intake! That will do!
Anyway on to CC where it all happened! The top tunes we're being played one after the other, the drinks were flowing and we were having a great time! But somehow we get separated, so me and Kay roam the club about four times, each time finding this serious group of hotties!
mmm hmmm!! After a while we hit the dancefloor again finding ourselves being pulled into a bundle of blokes, not bad! I end up getting cornered by one whilst Kayleigh is being chatted up by the other, both called John! So after a few dances and kisses I make my excuses to John #1 to find that Kay is no longer where she was and is somewhere with John #2 getting introduced to Matt Di Angelo, a.k.a Deano Wicks (Pat's nephew in Eastenders)! So Iv just made excuses to John #1 as to why I'm leaving and now I have to wonder there club trying to find Kay! After trying to get reception Kay turns up informing me she was in VIP! No need to explain Kay, just get us in there again!!
So we waltz into VIP where I meet Adam, who's mate is coincidently talking to my friend from school Jen! We start hugging each other and and chat for ages whilst these men wonder if they have met some mental chicks! After explaining how we know each other we resume our conversations, now this one was fun, Adam was cute and had an amazing body but I got the impression that he knew that too, big egos never go down well with me, but hey its just a bit of fun and past the ego he was fairly funny so I stayed put, anyway I was taking the piss about his ego to him which I couldn't make out if he enjoyed the feisty piss takes I was giving or whether he was laughing thinking I was joking. Ended up spending the rest of the night, which wasn't that long in VIP with Adam, Kay, John, Jen, Paul and his mates, I had an enjoyable night so let him kiss me, damn, it was good! So numbers exchanged I agreed to meet him at Faces the next night, next day though I couldn't be bothered and decided good kissing just couldn't over ride the ego so I told him I wouldn't be at Faces, don't think he was overly impressed but 'am I bothered?'

Kayleigh on the other hand was quite interested in the John bloke, and John certainly seemed interested in her, after all he told me to 'look after his baby and make sure she gets home ok', sorry 'baby'?? How long have you known her!? John. You have got to chill out! Girls just wanna have fun!

xx

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

"After all tomorrow is another day..."

... Fade out and curtains close, yes Scarlet what a performance! Gone with the wind! What a classic!!! And what a line to end it on! But Scarlet lets not forget to live for today!
I always wondered what the outcome of that film was! Did she manage to get Rhet back? What happened to her? She was such a good character! A spoilt mischievous girl who was as stubborn as you like but who got thrown back into a life where finding food was the most important thought of her day! But you see her become this strong, woman who starts showing signs of kindness, she makes it in the end though, nice house business etc whilst learning a few though lessons on the way! What a wicked gal!!!


I'm having one of those moments! A life changing decision has been made and I cant wait for it to happen! 31st October 2007 I'm off traveling! Woo hoo!

Standsted -> Bangkok (do Thailand etc) -> Brisbane -> Caines then travel south along east coast -> South Africa -> Standsted!

WOOOO HOOO! I cant wait!!! Get away and go on an adventure! I'm so determined for this to happen! I refuse to be a stuck-in-a-rut person, I want to say I done it all!!! But I cant get too excited, I've got a while to wait first!

Well, I was just getting excited about it so had to post you all the idea!

By the way you HAVE to see that film! Wicked!

see ya!
xxx

Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Brake-up Rules...

As soon as we break up with someone we become unbelievably aware of where we are, what time is it and whether it is a safe zone (meaning ex free) or whether its a field mine of emotional encounters (will we bump into the ex!?!). But no matter how much you try and dodge those awkward moments you will always bump into them when looking at your worst, or what you feel is like the worst you've ever looked! So your acting better be pretty damn good!

So we are aware of the inevitable but how do we get to that promised state of "over it"? Is it eventually possible to erase someone who at one point meant everything to you? or will they always be hanging around in our minds/hearts?? My theory to this is they will always be special and in a way that's nice, especially if its been a nice experience. So back to that journey of getting over it, everyone seems to have so many theories about this one, for example;
  1. Have a mourning period, talk to 'your girls', cry on shoulders, slowly make it back in to the world of singletons, apparently it takes half the total time you were together to get over them. hmmm...
  2. GET BACK IN THE GAME! Throw yourself unwillingly back into the game of boy meets girl and visa versa, test a few 'dishes' and have some fun, worst scenario is you meet a deadbeat BUT think, well at least my relationship wasn't that bad, best scenario, you meet an amazing dude and the ball is firmly in your court!
  3. Sod 'him' and the 'game' and focus on yourself, set goals and work on achieving them! Trouble is, you have to be pretty damn focused and set many-a-goal to stop your mind wondering into example no.1!!

It's a tough one isn't it! I'm yet to fall into one of those theories, Yes I'm going out and meeting people, having brief conversations with them but I still cant bring myself to be that interested.

Is there such a thing as the break up rules? And if so, what are they?

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Vodka, Tequila and a wobbly kerb

Oh yes this night was indeed a memorable one as we said aviour to our Prince, Mikey!

Myself, Kay, Sam, Matty and Mikey made our way to Canary Wharf after downing the Vodka and Orange and Dirty Ozzy's at Mikeys, all dressed looking rather smart and sassy!! (ooooh suits you sir!)

Once in THE bar we ordered in the bottles of wine and got cracking! Whilst have a breif break when finding the 'touch screen machine' and playing Cluedo, Crystal Maze and the one and only Spot the difference!! Anyway, back to the bar we conqured a few more bottles and were indeed wasted, to the point where you think you have the power to get others dancing, even though they have no clue who you are!

Whilst standing in the in the over crowded corner Matt brought out his protective side having a go at the random men who shoved past me whilst rushing somewhere! awww, thanks Matty!!

So all is going well untill we start rushing to catch our last train home, with Mikey supporting me I started to confuse him with Lozzys deep thoughts! (Sorry Mike!) Whilst Kay was following repeating the thought that she was going to puke! nice! on the train (that always seem to sway more when you've had one to many alcoholic beverages!) Mikey was coaching Kay on "only 4 more stops to go Kay, come on, keep it in!" in the mean time I'm starting to think there is way too much saliva swooshing around my mouth, but insist that im not going to throw up! Oh dear, wishful thinking! Once outside Kays, she runs for the toilet to throw up everywhere whilst I was not as lucky and ended up throwing my guts over the kerb! Nice!

The next morning started off sour with a minging taste in my mouth and the rude awakening of a memory involving a text sent to Tom which seemed to be a 'good idea' at the time! Dont you hate those moments! CRINGE!! So it was that morning that I decided it had to end it with Tom as much I don't want to because I cant go on being upset non stop, gotta start getting it together! (actually that thought came a couple of nights before but I only decided on it half way through getting ready for work!)

Having to go to work the next day is never a good thing, feeling like im about to puke in clients hair, and collapsing in any chair available I was absolutely USELESS! But I got paid so it's all good! Anyway a phone call with Tom later it was all over, young free and single i suppose...Well lets see what life's got ready me round the corner then aye!

xx

Monday, January 16, 2006

Miss Brightside...

Iv just read an interesting comment from my friend who seems to have a 'dampened down' outlook on romance, now it seems that we will never experience a Prince Charming of our own to come and sweep us off our feet. I couldn't disagree more and reading on about how we have to face the sober fact that we may find ourselves settling for less made me want to yell "HELL NO!!!"

don't get me wrong, I know I can be a romantic at times but I know that relationships are a partnership, no one wears the trousers, we simply have to wear a leg each...hope that makes sense.

We may analyze things more that go on between the boy like texts "is he flirting?" "did he mean to send that many kisses?" and as I'm writing this I'm thinking, "we seem a bit sad don't we ladies?" But it's a fact of life, we like a bit of excitement and do indeed get girlie with their little gestures. But that doesn't mean the boy is thinking "hmmm, she's pretty, seems interested.....she'll do!" no no no trust me girls there are indeed blokes out there who are nervous about what we are thinking, and we play so bloody hard to get that the poor souls get confused, I mean (you'll think I've contradicted myself BUT...) a little hint of game is harmless but when we blow hot then cold it's just plain ridiculous!! Smarten up ladies, it just puts them off, indeed blow hot occasionally then instead of turning into the ice queen blow warm instead, at least then they wont think we're constantly going through pms!!

As for waiting for Prince Charming, no one is perfect, we all know that and will be able to find faults that we have ourselves. BUT believe me, if we are lucky enough to, we WILL meet our prince who will knock us over! We wont be able to believe how perfect this person is to us, yes there are little things that are not perfect but we take them anyway. I know this can happen, my sister met her prince, they have a friendship which is a tight bond, they care about each other and enjoy each others company but are still free to go out with their mates when they want to, they work hard together to achieve their goals, all this has lead to them living together engaged to be wed in July and when I look at them I cant help but wish one day in the future I will find mine. (Yes I know there are probably many frogs till he comes along!!)

So yes I probably am an optimistic, I'm not convinced everything will always work out for the best but I never give up hoping (bloody hell, how miserable would that be!!) I know bad things happen and we can't work out why, but has it killed us? nope, we are still alive? Yes! and so we are still bloody capable of getting motivated and looking ahead, so why let a few downfalls throw us into a pit of sadness?
I'm not exactly experiencing that best time of my life at the moment what with Tom moving away but I know that eventually I'll pull through, I will always miss him, and I'll never forget him but I know I won't wallow in sadness for the rest of my life, I'll end up looking back and thanking him for raising my standards and having that little bit of influence on my life.

xx

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Me and my baby xxx

Me and Tom on the train I think on the way to CC Club! xx

Soppy Romantics....

Yep I can definitely be one at times, reading over my previous entry I don't want you all to think I'm going to die without Tom, and I am aware that it is ourselves that make us whole we cant rely on another person but it's just how I feel at the moment I love him so much the thought of when he goes hurts!

I don't even know when his going yet! So I have to pick myself up, carrying on and jump over that hurdle (with a little help form my friends) when it comes.

I'm seeing him in March for his 21st, then when he comes back we are going Rome (my present for him) which I'm looking forward to! I suppose it be looked at that no matter when he leaves it will be heart breaking so we might aswell enjoy until it comes because I think it will hurt to have him with me but not be with him and simply be friends. We are quality couple! One of those couples that people comment on how good we look together, I had people tell me that we look totally wrapped up in each other and besotted, which is so rare. So am I annoyed and regret coming together with Tom, No Way! I love every minute we're together!

xxx

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Just when you think it going well...

Well 2006 has been going very well, focusing on myself eating healthy (well...thoughts of healthy eating count i think!) and joining the gym, oh yes, I have joined a place that transforms you into a sweaty pink resemblance of a human before promising to make you trim and toned!
Dragging NikNak with me nearly every night, both of us bouncing on treadmills trying to look like we've been coming for ages...YEAH RIGHT, im tripping over myself trying to steady my legs whilst walking to the next leg breaking machine and nikki sporting her holiday hotpants worrying about her lungs packing up due to her 'grouting', thanks niks now im panicking over my lungs feeling like they are caving in without the additional problem of smoking!! Great. But I'm sure its all worthwhile!

Anyway, so here I am thinking 'Hey, this year is going to be damn good!", Im getting organised, well, trying to, and sorted out my skiing holiday to see The Boyfriend in March, I cant wait, seeing us girls falling down the slopes in fits of giggles insisting that we are indeed getting the hang of it!

But here's when that bloody spanner gets thrown into the beautiful works, The Phonecall that would break me in two, The Boyfriend informs me of some 'bad news'. He is off to Australia to live. Nice One! Please do send me postcard and let me know how it goes. Shock was indeed the state I was in, I tried to speak but not only could I not think of anything to say I unable to mutter anything! I tend to clam up when something upsets me, and I went into my shell trying my hardest not to cry as I knew once I started I wouldn't be able to stop. But the thought of him actually leaving me behind whilst our relationship is still going from strength to strength broke me in half, I felt as though someone was pulling a part of me out and let myself down and started to cry, which upset him too so most of Phonecall number one was us listening to eachother cry, my night was going well!

A few flood of tears later, Phonecall number two came into play and we spoke about not wanting to leave eachother but its the whole lame excuse of 'wrong time, wrong place'. Then I start the rollercoster of thoughts, Why hasn't he thought of me? Why does he have to go now? Cant he wait till we see where we're going first? Why have I let myself fall in love only to have my heart shattered into pieces!? What now? What do I do? Beg him till I'm blue in the face not to go? Act like I'm totally fine and get excited for him, 'Whey hey, this is great! You get to go somewhere hot and mug me off whilst Iv been waiting for you to return from France'? Go through being angry, feeling stupid and annoyed to feeling hopelessly in love, upset and broken whilst insisting Im strong enough to come through this still smiling! Only time will tell.

You often hear people talking about the expression of feeling as though your world has just crashed down around you, well Iv been through heartache before but that expression couldnt have applied to me more! I feel as though someone has put a black bag over my head and now I'm totally lost.

Do you think you meet only one person who has everything you ever wanted to find in someone, someone who opens your mind, makes you feel safe, makes you laugh, makes you feel complete, and lifts you up to a level of happiness that you never knew existed, someone you love with your whole self and most probably always will love, not only that but you offer them the same! Sounds like a soul mate doesn't it? Well that's Tom, thats the one who makes me whole and makes me feel like I can make anything mine. My Boyfriend.

xxx